#no but can you imagine if that was how you learned once a month you weren’t pregnant#by some dude singing songs about the victory of it#you wake up and he’s there and you are so happy#this dude becomes your favorite dude#but then you realize you haven’t seen your friend’s minstrel in a while#I mean everyone notices#like half the people are on the same cycle so for one week out of four your job is just flooded with fucking minstrels everywhere#the cacophony#but Mary over there is all alone#and she’s like my minstrel is late#but we all fucking know#her minstrel has gone off to find her a baby#a nine month journey he must make alone#and until he comes back there is no music in her life#what a glorious world this would be#I love the minstrels (@onionjuggler)
[clint barton voice] natasha romanoff??? nah what a jerk what a— [trips] [hundreds of thousands of photos of natasha romanoff spill out of jacket] w-what a fuckign asshole i these arent mine im just [gathering them up frantically sweating] listen i just listen fuck [thousands of pictures of natasha romanoff scatter across the floor] shit fcuk im holding them for sam just listen
"oh, please. you can’t REALLY be in a great mood. there are people out there who just got raises. people just got married. people are being reunited with their families right now. how dare you say you’re happy."
The equivalent of someone saying you can’t be sad because other people have it worse than you.
the notebook problem: you see a notebook. you want to buy the notebook. but you know you have like TEN OTHER NOTEBOOKS. most which are STILL EMPTY. you don’t need to notebook. you’re probably not gonna use the notebook anyway. what’s the point? DONT BUY THE NOTEBOOK. you buy the notebook.
my roommate and i are temporarily taking care of a Very Small Tiny Kitten that her aunt found in a boarded up shed and shes GONE and its just me in the house with the kitten and its Too Small i cant handle this