Sh*t, it’s 2am, I meant to go to Bed Several Hours Ago: An Autobiography
Oops, It’s 4am, I Should Probably Go to Bed: A Memoir.
Bloody Hell, Is that the Sunrise?: A Thrilling Conclusion to the Trilogy of Regret
Fuck it, I’ll Just Attempt to Stay Up ‘Till Sundown: A Spin-Off
What Fucking Day Is It Anymore?: The Movie Adaptation
I can’t imagine how scandalized those critics who were relieved to have something that was mild enough to not excite their kids would’ve been if they’d stopped for a second and realized what was actually going on. The very first rule of Scooby-Doo, the single premise that sits at the heart of their adventures, is that the world is full of grown-ups who lie to kids, and that it’s up to those kids to figure out what those lies are and call them on it, even if there are other adults who believe those lies with every fiber of their being. And the way that you win isn’t through supernatural powers, or even through fighting. The way that you win is by doing the most dangerous thing that any person being lied to by someone in power can do: You think.” —Ask Chris #81: Scooby-Doo and Secular Humanism (via missshirley)
1. I can’t get up at the crack of dawn to carpe fucking diem because I’m out five nights a week chasing laughter and the moonlight.
2. I don’t want to wake up feeling comfortable. Fuck comfort. I want to wake up and know I’ve woken up, I want to feel my life as it happens and if that means a throbbing headache, so be it; I’d rather dance in the dark than under a rainbow.
3. Eat whatever you want, idiots.
4. My breakfast happens at 1pm and I’d like to read whilst I eat it, thankyou very much.
5. I don’t need to stretch, nor do I need to reach for the sky; I am not a member of S Club 7 and my head is already in the clouds.
6. Drink all the water your body needs, put a chopped up lemon in your bottle but never neglect iced tea and vodka - whatever your poison, indulge yourself in it sometimes. Striving for perfection in any aspect of your life is just going to disappoint you; have a shot every now and then.
7. If you’re living life, you might not have time to write down your activities until four in the morning. Your life record may be scribbled onto receipts as you ride the train. That’s okay too; it doesn’t have to be beautiful to be valid.
8. Sleep on a pile of towels if you have to. Sleep in the grass. Sleep at a new friends’ place every night. As long as you’re sleeping next to something you love - whether it be a partner or the latest Palahniuk - scented fabric softener won’t mean shit.
9. Chaos can be better sometimes.
10. Run into the ocean instead.
11. You don’t owe strangers your smile. You don’t owe nature your observation. Maybe you don’t have a dog to walk.
12. Don’t make plans you can’t follow through with, it’s unfair.
14. Fuck it. Pick up a book because you liked the cover. Pick up a book because the person before you keft it behind. Scribble all over it if you want. Tear pages out and cut out words if you want. Pick up no books for a month, then ten in a day. Books will always be there.
15. Be yourself without imposing cliche’d values and movie-romance ideas onto your personality. Do what comes naturally. If you don’t want to pay your speeding fines, don’t fucking pay them, it’s your life. If you don’t like old people, don’t go and volunteer at their homes, you’ll only make everyone there miserable. Find your true bliss rather than assuming you’ll know what it is by sticking your tongue out at babies. You’ll get there, there’s no rush.
16. Don’t fucking daydream about it. Do it. Write your own ending.” —Fuck Your ‘Sixteen Small Steps to Happiness’, love Daisy Lola (via iloveyoulessthanpunk)
- elementary school: I went to bed at 10
- everyone: omg thats so cool
- middle school: I went to bed at 10
- everyone: wow loser
- high school: I went to bed at 10
- everyone: omg luckyyyy
- college: I went to bed at 10
- everyone: is that even possible
- guy: something spooky's happening
- fred: k we'll come check it out
- fred: daphne, velma come with me
- daphne: lol okei
- shaggy: but scooby and i are terrified of everything why do you always send us off alone
- velma: shut up you two
- shaggy and scooby: *run into monster*
- scooby: RAGGY
- shaggy: *oblivious to everything*
- scooy: RAAAAGGGGGY
- shaggy: zoinks!
- *the monster chases them accompanied by fun music: part 1*
- shaggy and scooby: *meet up with fred, velma, and daphne*
- fred: what happened?
- shaggy: M-M-MONSTER
- velma: uh oh
- monster: boo
- all: AAAAH
- *the monster chases them accompanied by fun music: part 2*
- *they run into one room and come out of another one, i don't even really know how that's possible*
- velma: my glasses! i can't see without my glasses!
- monster: *picks up velma's glasses and hands them to her*
- velma: thanks. ....JINKIES!
- *the monster chases them accompanied by fun music: part 3*
- monster: whoops i tripped
- scooby: i captured you
- *they pull the monster's mask off*
- fred: oh look it's the suspicious guy we met at the beginning of the episode who was super suspicious and greedy and he wanted money
- suspicious guy: and i would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids and your dumb dog
- scooby: ROOBY ROOBY ROO
- all: *laugh*